Lacey Olive Ann Brady, Olive Ann Brady

Aww… someone was tussled because she didn’t get to...

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 09:50:30 -0700

Aww… someone was tussled because she didn’t get to wear the pink dress! I try to stick up for you ladies, but damn. 7th grade looks pretty good on you, Julia.

maryrambin:

Apparently, someone wasn’t a fan….

juliaallison:

Mary picked out these outfits today, from Vivienne Westwood.

She said it would be something “different.” (If by “different” you mean “hideous.”)

Meghan’s dress looked better in person, very Leigh Lezark with her new hair. And I would have worn Mary’s dress, for sure.

My apologies Jules, I didn’t think you would be into the funky fashion of VW so I went a little more conservative for you. I’ll agree it probably wasn’t the best choice, but I thought the pinning would go over better. Perhaps it was the glasses?

Your second top was fun though! (Where is that picture?)

Megs dress is awesome! It was the first thing I chose at the showroom.

Dammit, Alex.

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:23:00 -0700

On a related note, I’m not going to buy Kellogg’s products. I don’t want to be a band-wagoner just ‘saying’ I’ll boycott and then secretly eat my cereal, I’m really holding out on this one. Let’s see what Kellogg’s says when their sales go down because of a little weed. I guess it IS harmful.

maryrambin:

andrewglennflavin:

Rodriguez admitted to using steroids while in Texas.

I hate that Michael Phelps is getting roped into this whole “athletes fallen from grace” headline.

So he smoked a little pot, BFD. He’s completely missed out on some of his best be-stupid and partying years due to the pressure of having to break Olympic records. If the man wants to take a bong rip, I think he deserves it.

This revelation actually makes him more super human because he polluted his lungs and still kicked ass.

Oh and the best way to piss me off is to tell me I'm "overreacting" or need to "relax."

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:16:38 -0700

jgh:

Srsly, it’s just patronizing

Happy early Valentine's Day to all...

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 12:49:59 -0700

What Love means to a 4-8 year old …
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’

The an swers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think.

‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’

Rebecca- age 8

‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’

Billy - age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

Karl - age 5

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

Chrissy - age 6

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’

Terri - age 4

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’

Danny - age 7

‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss’

Emily - age 8

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,’

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’

Noelle - age 7

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’

Tommy - age 6

‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’

Cindy - age 8

‘My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’

Clare - age 6

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’

Elaine-age 5

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’

Chris - age 7

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’

Mary Ann - age 4

‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’

Lauren - age 4

‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ (what an image)

Karen - age 7

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’

Mark - age 6

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica - age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’

Irish Diplomacy

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 15:00:56 -0700

The art of telling someone to go to hell and them look forward to the trip.

I’m totally using this right now with people at work.

Holy Shit. This is actually happening. Never thought I’d...

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 12:55:03 -0700

Holy Shit. This is actually happening. Never thought I’d live through the past 8 years.

peterwknox: allisonweiss: (via artsystar) 2009 goes RIGHT!

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:09:48 -0700

peterwknox:

allisonweiss:

(via artsystar)

2009 goes RIGHT!

Quick Question

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 15:20:47 -0700

kelseyriewer:

Do women who are missing a pinky on their left hand still sport an engagement/wedding ring on their ring finger? Is the ring finger still the ring finger? Standard protocol still or what? Completely insensitive? Maybe. But I’m curious.

Hey Kels — I just heard this the other day. The reason why the ‘ring finger’ is the ‘ring finger’ is because it’s believed there is an artery that runs directly from that finger to your heart. Disgustingly sweet, isn’t it?

The Greatest Craigslist Posting EVER

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 10:43:00 -0700

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County )

Reply to: sale-945361858@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-12-04, 5:15PM MST

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o’clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn’t meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that’s what your Prius is for. If that’s the kind of car you’re looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn’t even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don’t get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn’t let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don’t even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It’s got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you’re operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you’re being chased by Libyan terrorists, you’ll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It’s saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There’s a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I’ll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don’t walk up and tell me you’ll give me $5,000 for it. That’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let’s just say you won’t be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There’s only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it’s a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I’ll get back to you. And when I do, we’ll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I’m throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can’t fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

depoconnor@gmail.com

Our Mutual Joy

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:32:31 -0700

Our Mutual Joy

Christmas Party Banter

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:52:38 -0700

My boss’s boss asks me on Sat night — “Lacey, I notice you’re always so happy at work. Are you always this happy?”

Admin Asst to President — “She’s happier than God Damned Disneyland.”

Loved it!

OMFGGGG - Dating World

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 15:38:34 -0700

I’m actually signed up for my first speed dating rendezvous! (In Denver) I’m super excited, but have some reservations. What kind of guys are going to be there? Better yet… What kind of girls are going to be there? What kind of group am I going to be forever lumped into? The Speed-Dater. HAHA!! I have absolutely no expecatations though, the WORST case scenario is I have a really funny story for tumblr. :) My 82yr old gram says to me last night, “Well, like my mom said, HE may not be the one, but he may have a friend.” Well put Gram! It’s going to be SO easy to lie, I really have to watch myself. 5 minute dates are almost too easy to be someone else because you never have to get caught in the story. And being an actress, I know if it’s boring I’ll spice it up. I frequently get bored at bars and social drinking events, so I pretend to be English. My friends love it, I can get sucked in very easily. Be careful, Lacey. Be careful.

juliaallison:

So. I’m being set up with this guy (who is 34 and apparently looks like Ben Affleck) on one of my first real dates in a long, long time. I asked the friend who’s setting me up to NOT TELL HIM ANYTHING ABOUT ME. Including, but not limited to, my last name and my profession of choice.

Just think! An old-fashioned first date where two people make first impressions based on … their actual first impressions! Crazy!!

Anyway, he called last evening, left a message, and I wrote down his number on my To Do list to return sometime today. I also had to ring a reporter, whose number I wrote down as well.

Since calling men I don’t know makes me nervous, I was going to phone him while I was walking Lilly in about 20 minutes (doing something while I’m talking calms me down a little bit).

Anyway, guess who just dialed the wrong number and totally panicked when it was THE GUY instead?

Thank god his VM answered - but even still, I ended up listing like, exactly what I was doing for the next seven hours, highlighting opportunities for him to call back. Not terribly smooth.

UGHHH!

Btw, how long do you think I can go without telling him my last name or what I do? I never want him to read this blog. Or even know it exists. But I also refuse to lie.

Hmmmm.

24 Hours

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:12:02 -0600

kelseyriewer:

…And I’ll be home sweet home in the great state of Nebraska. Most people think “great state” is a major stretch, but not this girl. I love it. I miss it. And I can’t wait to get there.

VHAT!?!?!?! How long will you be there? When are you coming to CO to visit me? :)

allybrooke35: I got caught dancing in the elevator today. And I, singing. What an elevator day.

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:06:59 -0600

allybrooke35:

I got caught dancing in the elevator today.

And I, singing. What an elevator day.

ashleyriewer: tylerriewer: Ginger ten Bensel’s I Love Nebraska....

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:53:47 -0600

ashleyriewer:

tylerriewer:

Ginger ten Bensel’s I Love Nebraska. This “music video” could not be any worse for the Nebraska stereotype… but it’s too good (awful) to not share.

Oh, come on! You’re killing me Ginger!

So, dear sweet Ginger lives in HASTINGS!! As you know, Kels and I went to school together and we saw her at the bar one night… this is a funny story I completely forgot about… LOL!!!
The GING was sooo wasted she decided to get up with the band to sing. When she realized she didn’t know the words to anything they could play, she gallavanted out to her KHAS van and got her guitar. OMG - so funny to hear a drunk news reporter play and sing to a NE song…. Wish you could have been there.

Tampa Bay for Favre??

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:40:19 -0600

peterwknox:

Hey! Didja know Farve will probably play for the Jets? Oh boy!

I heard Tampa Bay this morning on the news? Keep me posted! I’d love to see him go play for someone shitty like the KC Chiefs and take them to the playoffs or something… you go Brett!!

Summer Classes for Men

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:42:04 -0600

Summer Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 29th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays—Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll—Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?—Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor—Pictures and Ex planatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes—Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity—Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things—Star ting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM , 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch—Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost—Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live—Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy—Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven—What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM , location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issuedto the survivors.

mascarah: davidcho: The Hills Season 4 Trailer I don’t care...

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:12:59 -0600

mascarah:

davidcho:

The Hills Season 4 Trailer

I don’t care about the haters. I love this shit.

Holy Canoli I’m so excited.

The Meghan Asha drinking game

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:04:45 -0600

jessicagoldharalson:

soupsoup:

cajunboy:

It’s easy. Just take a hard swig each time you run across the words “nerd,” “geek,” or “Apple” on her Tumblr. I just read two pages and am fucking wasting!

jessicagoldharalson rocks my world right now!

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:13:20 -0600

jessicagoldharalson:

brianvan:

“Julia Allison wants to be a successful writer, which would include being famous as a side effect.”

I want to be a famous writer (someday.)

Does this mean I should plagiarize in college, court VCs, write a blog with my boyfriend (and then out him as being bipolar after our tearful breakup), fly out to lavish LA and Las Vegas parties where I don’t do much of anything, rub elbows with rich heiresses and media moguls, become a starfucker, send in salacious gossip about myself to Gawker, pose “sexy” in a bunch of photos (wait, I already did that), and then start a “lifecasting” site with my CRAZY friends in order to be recognized as famous for… my writing?

Look, I don’t know the girl. I’m sure most of the above is “hype”. But if she wants to just be known for writing, girlfriend sure doesn’t act the part. Or, um, write much.

She’s certainly getting attention, though. There’s a lot of handwringing on Tumblr, but a Wired cover and a Bravo reality show is nothing to sneeze at. Whatever she does want, it looks like she’s getting it. I just kinda doubt writing is really on the “goal” list. Or maybe she doesn’t want to be a famous writer — maybe she wants to be famously written about, which is a big difference.

I always enjoy reading your posts, and the lengthy ones are even FUNNIER!! This one rocked my world today. I follow the girls too… and find your post hilarious today! Thanks for the laugh… just when I needed it!